When I ask you to listen to me and you start giving
advice, you have not done what I have asked for.
When I ask you to listen to me and you begin to tell
me why I shouldn't feel that way, you are trampling on my feelings.
When I ask you to listen to me and you feel you have
to do something to solve my problems, you have failed me, strange as that may
seem.
All I ask is that you listen. Not talk or do, just
hear me out. Advice is cheap: 50 cents will get you Dorothy Dix and Dr Spock in
the same newspaper. And I can do for myself; I'm not helpless. Maybe
discouraged and faltering, but not helpless.
When you do something for me that I can and need to do
for myself, you contribute to my fear and weakness. But when you accept as a
simple fact that I do feel what I feel, no matter how irrational, I quit trying
to convince you and can get about the business of understanding what’s behind
this irrational feeling.
And when that's clear, the answers are obvious and I
don't need advice. So, please listen and just hear me out, and if you want to
talk, wait for your turn; and I'll listen to you.
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“Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak; courage is also what
it takes to sit down and listen.”
~ Winston Churchill
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